Good chaps, these jihadists, but maybe a bit overheated

British schools now shy away from teaching about the Holocaust because "some teachers are reluctant to cover the atrocity for fear of upsetting students whose beliefs include Holocaust denial." But you can't say the Department of Communities and Local Government isn't doing everything in its feeble power to keep terrorism at bay. The Associated Press reports:

Britain is funding a curriculum that aims to teach children in Muslim religious schools how to steer clear of extremism, but some of the lessons are worrying Muslim educators.

One lesson plan goes something like this: A group of Islamic extremists want to buy fertilizer that could be used to make a bomb. Should the shopkeeper sell it to them? Or take Ahmad, whose friends want to attack a local supermarket in retaliation for the war in Iraq. Is it right for Ahmad to harm innocent Britons because their government invaded a Muslim country? ...

The project, called "Nasiha," or "guidance," draws on the Qur'an, sharia law, and traditional Muslim scholarship to show that British laws are in harmony with Islamic values.

The stated objective is to teach children, most between the ages of 8 and 14, "to realize that to harm or terrorize citizens in the U.K. is not something permitted in Islam," and "to be able to identify individuals or groups who preach hatred and learn ways of avoiding them."

LESSON NO. 27 (Thanks for giving the Western world the brilliant invention of Arabic numerals!)

Young British citizens, as you study the teachings of the Prophet (pbuh), who inspired so much that went to make up our British legal system, you may occasionally encounter a mullah who seems different from the overwhelming majority of peace-loving Muslim servants of Allah. Perhaps he will say some surprising things in view of the fact that Islam is the Religion of Peace, or attend demonstrations displaying a sign such as this:

Now, you should understand that he is carrying on with a great tradition of this country, which derives from shari'a law, of being able to speak one's mind without fear of reprisal. It is something we can all be proud of, and does honour to the Prophet (pbuh).

You should not take at face value the content of the message, and others you may hear in connection with jihad (that is, a peaceful inner struggle). While it is true that in Great Britain many who were thought dangerous (Sir Walter Raleigh, for example) have been beheaded in harmony with Islamic values, this sort of thing is frowned on today by many in the community. You might want to suggest to imams and others who use such language that, in deference to the feelings of some fellow Britons, they express themselves in this way only in an appropriate setting, such as a mosque.

The Department of Communities and Local Government completely understands the anger of those whom some infidels describe as "extremists," in view of our country's shameful collaboration with the Great Satan in invading Muslim countries and attempting to support the worldwide Zionist conspiracy by formerly teaching about an imaginary historical event called the Holocaust.

Nevertheless, if you happen to work in a shop and some of these so-called extremists want to purchase a load of fertilizer that can be used in making a bomb, you might want to remind them that through immigration and reproductive rates alone, the United Kingdom will soon have a Muslim majority and the infidels who do not convert to the Crescent will live as dhimmis. Therefore, trying to hurry the process along through the means of explosives might only result in more British expressing disrespect for the Prophet (pbuh) meanwhile.

Better to study the Holy Qur'an, so that when you are grown up you will know exactly how to apply it to any situation as a member of the ruling class responsible for seeing to it that no offence against the strict laws of shari'a will be tolerated, which traditional Muslim scholarship notes is fully compatible with the British legal system.

Allahu Akbar!