Playing the assassination card

"Any criticism of Obama, no matter how objective and impersonal, would be tied to race and bigotry, and honest debate and healthy scrutiny of him as a candidate or as a President would be muted, if not stifled altogether," writes Vanishing American.

Well, you knew that, didn't you? A vote for Barack Obama is a vote for skin tone. "Obama — The Melanin of the Hour." "He's the Man Who Puts 'Race' Into the Presidential Race!"

Still not feeling guilty enough to cast your ballot for him? Well then, listen to these two political philsophers:

Doris Lessing, who won the Nobel Prize for Literature last year — that should tell you something about her head space — says "she believes Barack Obama would be assassinated if he were elected president. … He would probably not last long, a black man in the position of president. They would kill him."

World champion boxer Bernard Hopkins has said he would "never lose to a white boy" — white boy? Imagine a white boxer saying he would never lose to a black "boy." Anyway, Hopkins is quoted as saying that Obama would be assassinated "within months" if he became U.S. president in November.

"I don't think America is ready for an African-American in the White House. If he gets the nomination they won't let him become president, but if they do, it will be for a short time, maybe less than a month or two. His life would be in jeopardy.

"People may say it is time for change but when it comes down to it, I don't think America is ready for that type of heat."

So, the United States of America can't even wash itself clean of its sins by electing a blackish president. It is cursed unto the last generation. Obama could sweep every state in the Union, but the sick soul of the land of cotton will rise up and take its vengeance. "Vote for Obama — He'll Make a Change Before He Meets His Maker." "Mark Your Bullets, er, Ballots for Obama."

This would seem to present the good left-liberal with a dilemma. Will electing the man who carries the pigment be sentencing him to capital punishment? If he is indeed a marked man, then the liberal who pulls the lever will be morally equivalent to the one who pulls the trigger.

The only solution that I can see is to abolish the practice of electing actual people as president. You could make the case that we've already done that anyway, since no candidate has any meaningful policies, just symbolism by the carload and promises of glorious outcomes. A candidate could be represented by a large balloon tethered to each podium on the campaign trail. The balloon could carry all the symbolism through its color, male or female shape or, perhaps, words printed on it. If the winning balloon were popped by a Lee Harvey Oswald franchisee, an identical one could be inflated immediately, an emblem of the Republic's continuance.

Democracy. Often imitated, never duplicated.