Friday, March 18, 2011

U.S. to invade Japan?

Well, why not? A country that can't prevent an earthquake and tsunami clearly doesn't believe in Democracy. We cannot allow it. Begin with a no-fly zone over Japan (after we re-take Okinawa) and if that doesn't sort things out, let's put boots on the ground so we can follow up with a troop surge. We've got to support the Rising Sun revolution!

"General, this is Barack. I need a few divisions, and would you tell Admiral what's-his-weight, I can't recall at the moment -- man, this heat in Brazil is something -- tell him to get a half dozen aircraft carriers off Japan, and do it last week. What? You've already planned to plop your soldiers into Libya? I thought we'd pulled our ally Khadaffi's nuts out of the fire already. What? Oh, right. He's the dictator. We've got to organize his neighborhood for him. Go anywhere, pay any price for freedom, Saint Jack said. 

"Right, I'll leave the details up to you, and if you run into Hillary ... you know what that bag of lips said, to the press? 'A no-fly zone requires certain actions taken to protect the planes and the pilots, including bombing targets like the Libyan defense systems.' How do we know which kind of Libyans we're bombing, you know what I'm saying? Anyway, we might need those boots in the air, I mean bombs on the ground, for Japan's nuclear reactionaries if it comes down to that. I'm hoping the Japanese rebels will just go quietly. I'll tell Ben Bernanke to print 'em a few billion dollars, that should have 'em licking the spoon.

"Okay, Gen, good talking, let's do lunch, right now I've got to get ready for a reception at the International Emergency Global Warming Action Committee -- damn, you know how hot it is here in Brazil? -- right after the massage. Life's hard at the top. 'Bye."



Jaz said...

Plans were made (Operation Downfall, 1945). Dust 'em off!

Rick Darby said...

Right you are, Jaz. All those old invasion maps from '45 in the archives, used to seem like a waste of space, but it's time! Other than a few waterlogged areas, they're as good as new! Synchronize your watches, women, we hit the beach at 0900! said...

Our country is going mad!

Rick Darby said...

What is particularly alarming about this madness is that at some point, not necessarily far in the future, we will actually need our armed forces in the Middle East as a strong deterrent -- or even fighting force -- against Iran. Iran is the one country that could actually be a danger to our interests.

But how are we going to stand up against Iran when our military is thinly spread and experiencing attrition in Iraq, Afghanistan, and potentially Libya?

Rollory said...

You think you're joking about Japan.

That's right: the USA is not moving heaven and earth to get water into that reactor because Obama decided it woudl be conditional on ditching the entire plant, including the still-functional reactors. In other words, pushing Japan more towards being reliant on imported energy. In other words, the exact same situation that started the war in the Pacific in the first place.

Van Wijk said...

Rick, Rick, Rick. 0900? Seriously? No, we're going in at 0330. Nothing pleases the Army more than a sleep-deprived soldier.