Well, why not? A country that can't prevent an earthquake and tsunami clearly doesn't believe in Democracy. We cannot allow it. Begin with a no-fly zone over Japan (after we re-take Okinawa) and if that doesn't sort things out, let's put boots on the ground so we can follow up with a troop surge. We've got to support the Rising Sun revolution!
"General, this is Barack. I need a few divisions, and would you tell Admiral what's-his-weight, I can't recall at the moment -- man, this heat in Brazil is something -- tell him to get a half dozen aircraft carriers off Japan, and do it last week. What? You've already planned to plop your soldiers into Libya? I thought we'd pulled our ally Khadaffi's nuts out of the fire already. What? Oh, right. He's the dictator. We've got to organize his neighborhood for him. Go anywhere, pay any price for freedom, Saint Jack said.
"Right, I'll leave the details up to you, and if you run into Hillary ... you know what that bag of lips said, to the press? 'A no-fly zone requires certain actions taken to protect the planes and the pilots, including bombing targets like the Libyan defense systems.' How do we know which kind of Libyans we're bombing, you know what I'm saying? Anyway, we might need those boots in the air, I mean bombs on the ground, for Japan's nuclear reactionaries if it comes down to that. I'm hoping the Japanese rebels will just go quietly. I'll tell Ben Bernanke to print 'em a few billion dollars, that should have 'em licking the spoon.
"Okay, Gen, good talking, let's do lunch, right now I've got to get ready for a reception at the International Emergency Global Warming Action Committee -- damn, you know how hot it is here in Brazil? -- right after the massage. Life's hard at the top. 'Bye."