The PJ Tatler has obtained documents from the Justice Department detailing efforts to recruit attorneys and staff who are dwarfs or who have “psychiatric disabilities” or “severe intellectual disabilities.” On May 31, 2012, Assistant Attorney General Tom Perez issued a directive to affirmatively recruit people with these “targeted disabilities.”This DOJ policy does not merely involve prohibitions against discrimination, but rather the documents reveal deliberate recruitment efforts to hire as attorneys and staff for the Department of Justice people suffering from psychiatric disorders and intellectual disabilities. Moreover, applicants can “self-identify” their disability by means of the “Standard Form 256, Self Identification Disability.”
U.S. Department of Justice
Form 256, Self Identification Disability
Dictated to me, Sanford Lightfinger, on this 23rd day of August in the fourth year of the Obama Godship.
I, [sign your name or make your mark] ____________X_____________, do hereby declare myself ha ha! Ha! to be totally flipped out and therefore he he he qualified for immediate appointment to a position in the U.S. Department of ho! ho! hyah! Justice.
My name is Emperor Napoleon van Waterloo. I am of ha ha ha! noble descent. My father was Fabien, Duc de Foie Gras. My mother, Annabel Flemmmmyng-Priscus, Lady-in-Waiting to the no. 77 bus (Clapham Junction).
Born at the bottom whoh who ha ha of the Marianas Trench, I rapidly rose to the top, reaching the surface in my 45th year. Too day I am a famous entre ... entre ... preener. CEO, COO, President, Chairman of hya hya ha ha hya Flying Tree Design Co. Ltd., the country's leading producer of whale coffins. We use only ha ha he he ha ha ha! wind-powered buzz-saws, a totally green business!
I voted for His Godship in 2008. Totally, absolutely he ha ha mad! References from 17 psychiatrists will be provided on request.
I hear there will ha ha ha ha soon be a vacancy for the office of U.S. Attorney General. Wink wink, waiting in the wings.
The above is a true and faithful transcript of the deponent's statement. [signed] Sanford Lightfinger, Washington Home for Unusual Cases. My commission expires December 31, 2050, unless I do first.