Friday, January 16, 2009

Economy crash lands in river; Congress pumps in money to keep it afloat

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"$43 billion for you. $16 billion for you.
$60 billion for you — Not enough?
Okay, here's $78 billion … "

$350 billion: Bye-bye; write when you get work. Another $350 billion: Well, that didn't do much, let's try it again. Oh, hello, Bank of America. Bet you're glad we bailed you out so you could buy Merrill Lynch, smart move on your part … excuse me? Merrill lost you $15.31 last quarter? Well, you might have to tip the waiter a little less generously next time — what? $15.31 billion down the plumbing? Oh, I see. Look, here's a $20 billion Band-Aid. What else are friends for, B of A?

My country 'tis of thee, you voted for change, and here it comes. Meet Barack Obama's economic team, bursting with new ideas. How about this — a stimulus package! To the tune of $825 billion! Something for everyone, including disconnected youth, and a little more for others.

This isn't throwing money at the problem. You have Barack's word for it. What do you mean, where's all that dough coming from? Debt, of course! It's the American way. Who's lending us the money by buying our Treasury bonds? You don't want to ask that.

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6 comments:

Jaz said...

If you planned to wreck this country, you would do this.

Rick Darby said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Rick Darby said...

Oh, come along, Jaz. I know I can be a little caustic in my blog postings, but I don't think they'll wreck the country. There are others more skilled at nationicide than I am.

Jaz said...

No, that was a general "you". It's what they are doing, that you described, not Rick Darby.

Rick Darby said...

I know, Jaz. I was just kidding. But thanks for wanting to reassure me.

Jaz said...

But I'm sure you're doing your part, in secret.