A mayor not even New York deserves

All politics is local? Don't make me laugh.

It would be better if most politics were local. The blurring of the lines between federal, state, and local jurisdictions is one reason the United States is sinking toward Greecedom, dementedly picking fights it can't win in the world's bad neighborhoods, and modeling the oversight of its citizens on some of the less attractive habits of classic South American dictatorships. 

Still, as a rule, the moment a big-city politico has reached the top of the local greasy pole, he (or she) is above petty concerns about the city. He is the new Saviour, an Enlightened Being, the country if not the world his demesne.

You can't accuse Mayor Michael Bloomberg of neglecting New Yorkers, though. Before he sets the Universe to rights, he has gone far toward reforming his own patch.

Let's see what Nanny-boy Bloomberg has lumbered his constituents with. In his menopausal War on Unhealth, he has generously volunteered to relieve New Yorkers from the burdens of thinking and choosing. 

His latest crusade is against salt, throwing the full weight of his nonexistent prestige into something called the National Salt Reduction Initiative. That follows the First Crusade (against tobacco), the Second Crusade (against soft drinks), and the Third Crusade (against trans fats). Probably there were other crusades I didn't hear about. And you might remember this news item from the last posting:

Mayor Bloomberg's grand vision to improve New Yorkers' health by severely limiting the sale of high-calorie beverages on city property is bad news for the little guy, say blind vendors who operate stands in city-owned buildings. The vendors were notified Monday that they can dedicate just two slots in their beverage machines for high-calorie drinks such as soda, iced tea, juice and Gatorade -- and the buttons must be "in the position of the lowest-selling potential," according to the new regulations.

In a saner era of American life, he would have been a laughingstock at best; given a coating of tar and escorted to the city limits, at worst.

But if that were all he was about, I would tell New Yorkers: you chose this oaf as your mayor. Not my problem. And I'd try to refrain from adding something about lying down, dogs, and fleas.

Of course, not every New Yorker voted to have their dietary habits subject to a latter-day Savonarola. Those who didn't, well, try harder next time to displace this benevolent fascisto.

But when Bloomie turns his thoughts, if the word may be used, to national immigration policy, he is beyond obnoxious.

Yesterday, he went out of his way to declare us all suicidal for not importing a few billion foreigners to colonize what's left of the country.

In a major speech to the Council on Foreign Relations on Wednesday, New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg will say the United States risks “national suicide” if it doesn’t adopt a more welcoming immigration policy.

“We will not remain a global superpower if we continue to close our doors to people who want to come here to work hard, start businesses, and pursue the American dream,” Bloomberg says in prepared remarks obtained by Playbook.

“The American dream cannot survive if we keep telling the dreamers to go elsewhere,” he says. “It’s what I call national suicide – and that’s not hyperbole.”

Mr. Moneybags Mayor, I know you don't concern yourself with the peasants beyond the East River, but some of them have dreams of their own that you've never dreamed. Such as not having to compete for jobs with every hustler from the whole round world. Such as keeping a coherent national culture. I realize that's a meaningless concept to you and lots of New Yorkers, but while you and your followers can to turn your city into even more of a Disunited Nations than it already is, permit me to suggest that you take your vision of a non-American "America" and stick it in your ear.

“Every day that we fail to fix our broken immigration laws is a day that we inflict a wound on our economy,” Bloomberg will say.

That's right, Bloomie, but not the way you mean it. Our immigration laws are broken partly because of sick politicians like you, with your utter contempt for the country that foolishly welcomed your ancestors and allowed you to get rich here. Fixing our broken immigration laws means keeping some values beyond corporate profits, which are the only thing you understand.

Listen, Mayor Bloomberg. No, that's silly; you'll never read this, and if by some accident you did, you'd laugh. One more ordinary citizen beneath your wealthy disdain. I'll say it anyway.  You aren't fit for landfill.