Wednesday, October 19, 2011

U.S. vice president threatens murder if jobs bill not passed

Flint, Michigan, Police HQ

The Weekly Standard reports:
Last week, Vice President Joe Biden warned that more people would likely be raped and murdered if President Obama's jobs bill is not passed. "In 2008, when Flint had 265 sworn officers on their police force, there were 35 murders and 91 rapes in this city," Biden said at an event in Flint, Michigan. "In 2010, when Flint had only 144 police officers, the murder rate climbed to 65 and rapes--just to pick two categories--climbed to 229. In 2011, you now only have 125 shields. God only knows what the numbers will be this year for Flint if we don't rectify it."
The Speaker recognizes the representative from Michigan's Moon World district.

Thank you, Mr. Speaker. I rise in support of HR 1,053,922, the Jobs for All and Anti-Rape-and-Murder Act of 2011. You must pass this bill.

As my esteemed colleagues know, the proud city of Flint is distinguished by its widespread criminal activity, and that's only counting public employees. In addition, its private citizens boast a Viking-like tradition of murder, rape, and pillage -- a direct result of racism, sexism, Islamophobia, homophobia, xenophobia, classism, and lookism. You must pass this bill.

Now imagine you are a crime victim in Flint, say you are in the process of being raped. You must pass this bill.

You dial 911, that's assuming your phone service hasn't been terminated for nonpayment. You explain what is happening and that time is of the essence.

Consider your disappointment when a recording says, "We're sorry, all our shields are busy at the moment attending other rape customers. Your rape is important to us. Please stay on the line. Your rape will be dealt with in the order it was received. If you have been murdered, there isn't that much we can do. Please hang up and phone again when the volume of crime is lower, after HR 1,053,922 is passed."

How would that make you feel?

Pretty glum, I'll bet. And why? Because this august body has not seen fit to vote for HR 1,053,922! Which means that not enough persons of color can be hired to watch over the mean streets of Flint, or even to patrol them! You must pass this bill.

Suppose you are vacationing in Flint -- I'll insert in the Congressional Record the contact information for the Flint Convention and Visitors Bureau -- when, through no fault of your own (except voting "present"), you find a 200 pound man standing over you telling you to submit!

You must pass this bill.



Stogie said...

I'm convinced. Well not really.

I love the photo of the old abandoned house, though.

Mr. Anon said...

But think of how many more jobs there will be for rapists and murderers.