Thursday, September 29, 2011

Wash your mind after reading this posting


When did this obsession with hand washing start? Grocery stores offer some kind of disinfectant to spray on your dainty paws. Every public restroom now seems to have a sign reminding you to purify yourself. They're like World War II posters, "Loose lips sink ships." Dirty fingers are where disease lingers!
Not just after using the toilet, mind, but on divers occasions. Yesterday I saw a notice urging the ritual under half a dozen circumstances -- when you've sneezed, when someone else has sneezed, coughed, &c. Finally, so help me, "After touching a doorknob."

[Knock, knock.]

"Come in."

"Ah, Jarvis. At ease, corporal. I have a little job for you -- "

"Pardon me, sir, with respect, I need to go wash my hands. Nothing personal, sir, just trying to stop disease in your tracks, I mean in its tracks. Don't mind if I leave the door ajar, do you, sir? Just be a minute."

How about a poster for theater restrooms:

"Listen up, folks! If you murder someone, wash your hands again and again! Lady Macbeth here, with a word to the wise."

At a public library I frequent, not only is there The Sign of the Wash, there's another asking patrons to throw used paper towels (of which there are none; this is an advanced, Green, blow-drying facility) in the "receptacle," not on the floor.

What kind of library patron needs to be told not to throw used paper towels on the floor?

Most of these health propaganda posters surely are required by law, and their content devised by government (local, state, federal or all three) health offices. Somewhere there are cubicle farms of public servants whose job is to warn the public of disease hazards lurking everywhere. 

Like all bureaucratic organizations, they must expand or die -- and they never die. So it won't do just to tell the punters to wash up after using the restroom. New threats must be regularly identified and warned of, and hosannas sung to the glories of prophylaxis.

Could it be that this hygienic busybody industry has something to do with our masters' campaign of population replacement? Our new vibrancy surely includes many hard-working family-valued legal and stealth immigrants who failed Hand Washing 101 in their native environments. I understand certain "developing" world airlines play videos that not only instruct passengers in the finer points of seat belts, oxygen masks, and evacuation, but also explain how to use the toilet.

Diversity is our strength. Now, go have a wash.



Anonymous said...

No, it's just the standard "wash the outside of the cup" pretense of purity.

Stogie said...

Actually, keeping your hands clean is a good idea to keep from catching colds and flu. Hospitals themselves have caused the spread of disease, because of doctors wearing ties that are never washed, and infrequent washing of hands. Now hospitals are encouraging the nonwearing of ties and have placed anti-bacterial dispensers throughout. I think it's a good idea.